What Is This?
Wow…look at those BIG horns on your head! Got a tail? Stop! I was just joking. Put that back in your pants. Nobody wants to see that.
You look a little pale! I’m Dead Donovan—SlasherMonster Magazine’s zoo keeper. I mean…host. Something like that. I’m forever damned to keep the monsters around here from killing each other…and from eating you.
Take this serrated scalpel and flay open your fears. Put on that black apron. You’re going to need it. Trust me.
Horrific articles, dark poetry and stories, shadowy artwork…there’s more. I just forgot the rest. Hey! Don’t look at me like that. My brain burned in a fire about fifty years ago. Which means…
…I can use your assistance! Do you have something dark up your sleeve? Come on. Don’t lie. When you’re ready to show everyone your tail—write me a message:
Send something that will make monsters evacuate their bowels, okay?
Feel free to roam around the place. I’m sorry…ignore the growls. I fed the ghosts, ghouls and goblins, but they keep wanting more! Damn…I thought I had a fast metabolism…I mean…look at me! I’m nothin’ but bone! A good lookin’ bone…if you know what I mean.
What’s that saying? No rest for the conceited? Something like that.