Wow…look at those BIG horns on your head! Got a tail? Stop! I was just joking. Put that back in your pants. Nobody wants to see that.
You look a little pale! I’m Dead Donovan—SlasherMonster Magazine’s zoo keeper. I mean…host. Something like that. I’m forever damned to keep the monsters around here from killing each other…and from eating you.
Take this serrated scalpel and flay open your fears: are you ready to take a look inside?
Put on your black apron. You’re going to need it. Trust me.
Horrific articles, dark poetry and stories, shadowy artwork…there’s more. I just forgot the rest. Hey! Don’t look at me like that. My brain burned in a fire about fifty years ago. Which means…
I can use your assistance! Do you have something dark up your sleeve? Come on. Don’t lie. When you’re ready to show everyone your tail—write me a message:
Send something that will make monsters evacuate their bowels, okay?
Feel free to roam around the place. I’m sorry…ignore the growls. I fed the ghosts, ghouls and goblins, but they keep wanting more! Damn…I thought I had a fast metabolism…I mean…look at me! I’m nothin’ but bone! A good lookin’ bone…if you know what I mean.
What’s that saying? No rest for the conceited? Something like that.