Ivor Steven: Ripe Tomatoes and a Garden Spade




Ripe Tomatoes and a Garden Spade


Only another week to go

I’ll be on the cruise

I’m not feeling nervous

More that I’m fearful

Scared my plan might go amiss

Before the high seas deliver bliss


Taking two suitcases is normal

Other passengers may have three

I won’t look suspicious

I’ve bagged her precisely

Chopped her into small pieces

Stored separately in the freezer


The old witch, I caught her trespassing

In my private courtyard

Stealing my precious cherry tomatoes

I whacked her with my garden spade

Across the top of her green head

I didn’t hit her too hard

She lay there bleeding, not dead

How dare she come into my yard

She’s pleading with me, no mercy I said

And I dragged her into the shed



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About Dead Donovan (179 Articles)
You look a little pale....oh!...forgive me! My name is Dead Donovan. SlasherMonster is devoted to the dissection of horrific material: articles, short-stories, poems, photography, graphic art -- the stuff that makes your heart shrivel.

14 Comments on Ivor Steven: Ripe Tomatoes and a Garden Spade

  1. I’m gonna think twice before eating a cherry tomato! Thanks for sharing your poem, Ivor.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s Ok, as long as you don’t get caught by the bloke with the garden spade !!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Reblogged this on Ivor.Plumber/Poet and commented:
    Thank you to Slasher Monster Magazine for publishing my poem on their fantastic Magazine site SMM. https://slashermonster.com For some alternative writing and reading please take look.


  4. What’s for dinner ground Mary
    Or ground Chuck

    Liked by 4 people

  5. I’ve reblogged to my site,

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I can totally relate to this. Hands off me maters!!! You show ’em, Ivor.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Another magnificent masterpiece by Ivor the Master Slasher!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Damn what a write, Damn what a finale. LOL This was great


  9. Damn right Ivor, tomatoes are no joke

    Liked by 1 person

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