Fifty Words Story Collaboration: In the Distance

By Na trioblóidi and Poet Rummager

distancetcard

I saw it there in the distance. A streak of luminescence in an otherwise dismal world. I  hungered for it; staring unblinking. It moved closer—that brilliant glow. Holding out my hand, I touched the edge of his collar. It was then I realized, the light came from his soul.

Our eyes met, and as his hand folded gently over my own. I felt a pleasurable prickling sensation race over the surface of my skin. He must have noticed me shudder. His eyes sparkled as he smiled in the dim.

“You were alone before?” he asked.

I nodded.

“So was I, once. All alone. But no longer.” He gestured beyond where we stood. In the near darkness, I could discern the silhouettes of a mass of people, silently rising and falling like driftwood in a soft tide that seemed to reach to the horizon.

“Who are they?” I asked. “I…I can’t see…”

His hold on my hand tightened, then clamped down like the jaws of a rabid dog. I  screamed as the prickling sensation bloomed into the heat of an undying torch. His inner light glowed brighter and brighter until I could see a crowd surging towards us; a wave of human torment breaking at our feet.

In an untold number of unseeing eyes, I could see myself, writhing in the chaotic misery I’d inflicted on others in my life time.

“I don’t want to see!” I pleaded.

“You have to see,” Lucifer replied. “And I have to help you. I am the Light Bringer.”

skullbulbsmall

fallingdevil

50 Word Story Collaboration

By  Na trioblóidi & Rose Perez

Oglach expanded Rose’s Fifty Words Story, In the Distance

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About Dead Donovan (171 Articles)
You look a little pale....oh!...forgive me! My name is Dead Donovan. SlasherMonster is devoted to the dissection of horrific material: articles, short-stories, poems, photography, graphic art -- the stuff that makes your heart shrivel.

26 Comments on Fifty Words Story Collaboration: In the Distance

  1. Enjoyed the depth, what could be read into the words, I see his light, like life, we age, and we can’t avoid it, like looking into his light, it’s inevitable.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Hellishly great expanded story! I thought at first, “oh, how romantic” and then the vice squeezed all the romanticism from my thoughts, and Dante’s “Inferno” came blazing down. Brilliant, Og! xo

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Thank you, Rose for allowing me to expand your incredible fifty word story. It’s the first time I’ve ever tried anything like that and it was an honour. Matt and yourself always come up with the best ideas. Great image for the story, too.
    On another note, I think Tonks can read my mind, which is incredibly disturbing for both of us.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Monochrome nightmares // October 15, 2016 at 9:55 pm // Reply

    Exceptional.
    Well done Oglach.
    A brilliant expansion on
    Rose’s wonderful 50 word story.
    Amazing imagery.

    And the accompanying graphics
    are really very very good, Fly / Rose.
    Gimme a break people.
    I’m covering all bases here. 😎

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Beautiful prose. So elegant and chilling. Graphics are well done, as always.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Loved the story. You know the word “slashing” brings a smile to my face, don’t you? I didn’t see the twist at the end but I saw the clues woven into the story after rereading. Very interesting twist on “light bringer.” I don’t suppose we can handle the truth, can we? Happy slashing! xo

    Liked by 3 people

  7. “I could discern the silhouettes of a mass of people, silently rising and falling like driftwood in a soft tide that seemed to reach to the horizon.” — A well crafted line, and it induces vivid mental imagery!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. How did you do it? Starting off with what seemed to be romantic then giving it a one hell of a kind ending

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hi Mich! Thank you for reading the story. The first paragraph is my fifty words story, which Oglach expanded on, and that’s where it morphs into dazzling imageries of light, sufferings, realization, and guilt. Very chilling and yes, one hell of an ending. Thanks again for your words, and please consider submitting a dark poem or story to SMM. 👻

      Like

  9. Hahaha this is so metal. Great work guys 😀

    Like

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